Boutwell Studios's Podcast, Blog & Life Coaching

Deer Elves, Orcs, Crocs, Rabbits, weirdos...

This is for you! It can be listed as A) A Christmas Miracle B) what people in work houses make C) A cheap gift to give to a somewhat close relative or lesser fiend  OR D) The latest in a long line of truely brilliant audio collages sprinkeled with montage and wine. 

Now GO! LISTEN! That irritating sound might be reindeer not squirrels in the attic!

You're sweeter than a candy cane (so drive like it), 

Boutwell Studios 

Year 1 was the Year of the Robot. Year 2...I think we took a break (no excuse). Year 3 I made Nick dress up like a 6 foot 3 eight year old and ride around on a tiny tiny bike while Lane looked like he was one joke away from complete lunacy (and there were robots). This year my friend David persuaded me to actually celebrate love on Valentines Day. And I hate to say it, because I wanted to do a Silence of the Lambs bit, but he was right. Without giving the whole thing away just pour yourself a cup of kibble and scratch. I mean watch. 

Evol, 

Van

I'm actually stunned right now. My lovely wife bought me a digital audio recorder for our 5th anniversary. So I used it today during a thunderstorm. All I can say is...Vulcan is pissed. Here's what just happened to me outside.

Duck & Cover,

V-vv-vv-vvvv-A-nn-nnnn-nnnnn

When presented with the option of performing Biz Markie's "Just A Friend" in a variety of genre's I asked when is the tour? As fate would have it our tour manager was an Aussie drunk who hated music so, cancelled.  I recorded different version of the same song so our dear friend Daisy could use at Magic City Art Connection for kids who got out on a Friday to go to the art show. How badass is that?  Daisy's idea was to play the clips for the kids so they could hear how a song can change and stay the same. I was excited. I love the only hit Biz ever had. I ain't knockin' The Biz, he's friends with Ad Roc, MCA and Mike D. As much as I'd like to claim that too, I can't.

Listen here, this is really funny. It's me singing all the parts and on a couple of tunes Ted Speaker does harmony (Ska, Country...maybe another one too). The kids loved it. The DJ that played the songs dressed up and danced for each song, they lost it. The kids. Lost sanity. The DJ signed autographs.

Art, Sex, Peace

Van

Track number two off the upcoming release of "Your Dreams Can Come True (If You Stop Being So Stupid)" has been released. It's this year's Summer jam. Ask any skater or old person and they'll tell you the same. And when discussing this track with people please don't embarrass yourself by using outdated teen lingo. Act real mellow and say the following, "Fuh real", "Say What", "You got it", "You said it", "Alright" and "Yes, I think I agree with you".

C above G,

Van

You know when you're sitting in a golden throne, feet propped on the back of a poor person, drinking blood from a gold sippee cup and you think, "Rock N Roll Excess is best!".  Then a mystrey moon child from the 60's claims that you're their no good absent beatnik parent, he/she is now a law abiding citizen and worse, a lawyer. What to do? Gotta sell that Gold man. Where to sell?  Internet.

A couple of years ago a client wanted an original jingle for one of the thousands of people buying gold. So I channeled many hip hop demons and wrote two. They hated them both. However, I think both might be the greatest songs that have ever been written. If you thought Wings was the greatest band ever then you're probably an alcoholic. But if you like Top 40 crap you'll think these are Grammy worthy. I wrote the lyrics, did the singing with some help from back up singers, had my entourage shoot an up and coming local rapper (turned out to be a statue of a Boll Weevil) and then retired from the game.

This is the first one. The second jam gonna drop from the sky like the guy not afraid to die next week.

"Like pirates gettin' booty from the days of old, we give you lots of money when you give us yer gold"

-Diz Count

The story is that years ago before Boutwell was built in its current location the property was used as a robot burial ground. In fact, the builders actually had to repel robot attacks that came from air and ground. It took a little over a year for completion of the building that stands today. So, we made a movie about it. Our homage to The Shining for those of you wondering "why, god why".

Nick Punch plays the little boy Danny whose passions were locked away forever in the body of an adult on a tiny bike. The robot children "A" and "1" were created by Daniel Long who ,in a strange twist, was created by "A" and "1". Voice of the the electric grandmothers' grandbots was given by Anne Punch who actually talks that spooky in everyday conversation...creepy. The scruffy guy at the bar, Lane. He seems like a laid back nice guy, when in fact he quite openly opposes robot occupation. The bartender was me, Van Gunter. With the magic of lighting I gained 40 pounds.

The guys who deserve the most praise are Jason Hamric, Arik Sokol, David Smith and Daniel Long. Jason and Arik rocked the cameras and lighting. David & Daniel did an incredible job with set design and robot related matters.

Jason Hamric, thank you for the many hours you spent putting all of the footage together. Thank you to Lani and our friends at ROJO for use of the bar in the scene with scary Lane. And David Fisher who did the killer job on the photo at the end of the movie, a big smooch.

This is our Valenshining to those made of flesh and wire and blood...and a metal exo-skeleton.

101100111000,

Van

In this years Christmas Podcast from Boutwell Studios you'll fall in love with a confused coffee addled bounty hunter after Santa, a beatnik who does Christmas in a real cool way baby. You'll hear the South rising again in an attempt to ruin another family holiday and a heartwarming, cold blooded Stephen King story is retold. It's all inside. Gather your family around the computer screens warm glow and enjoy "Christmas Present Ghost".

elves & beernog,

Van

We finally found it!  Mark told us that in his stacks of reels and vinyl he had an original recording of unknown Memphis slide guitar great Smokehouse Scratch. This is one of the only known recordings of him. Smokehouse did very few shows and very little talking. What you're going to hear is taken from a show played at a BBQ shack/boarding house.

-Legba

Back before most of you were born there was a magical festival that lived in the City of Birmingham. For three days every year people feasted on Circus food, drank lemonaide and beer, walked in the streets and listened to music. Long story short, a wicked idiot that ran the festival named Gargamel bilked a bunch of money from the musicians, agencys, vendors, city, and moved to Mordor quickly turning into a troll.

But in the last months leading to the festival we worked tirelessly on radio and tv spots to bring more people to the event. One of the ideas we came up with was to have a song from each of the headlining acts sung by people going about their day. This clip is of Anne and I sing a snippet of Mr. Roboto, one of the greatest songs in recording history (as certified by The Offical Record Book). The idea was that she sang it in the shower while I was brushing my teeth singing the backup vocals. City Stages chose not to use it and it was that decesion that led to the festival shutting down. Well, that and Gargamel being a complete and total sheister and enemy of the state.

I'm Killroy,

and Van

I spent four Labor days at Perdido, sailing, fishing, drinking, sunning, eating and all other words ending in -ing. Let me tell you the Gulf is beautiful, the water (where I was) was clear, turqouise and cool. Nothing beats the Gulf in September. One day I'm going to dress like Shel Silverstein and move my lovely wife and Schnuauzer to live in a tug boat, become a full time fisherman and tell lies about the things I've caught, or better yet, not caught. Listen to these waves in case of an emergency, like Winter.

-Van

The Cicadas get quieter every night.  Which I hate because the only thing that replaces them is the sound of stark cold. I mean Fall sounds like Fall but Winter sounds just like cold. And I hate cold. Give me sweaty god awful hot days with the car seat sticking to the back of your legs and slighty cooking your skin. I like humidity, hot nights, ice cold beer, ice cold beer, slow porch swings and Cicadas. I think if I were being hunted by Predator in the forrest he'd find me, put a razor sharp blade up to my throat and then...he'd stop. Unable to kill me, overhwelmed by the singing surround sound of my invisible friends. We'd share a moment. Predator and I would share a moment. Then we'd leave the forrest hand in hand or blade in hand and get a cold beer.

bye now,

Van

This piece was written and produced by Greg Bass. He talks with Gulf Coast residents about the impact the BP Oil Spill has had on their lives. His son Richard reflects on his first memories of saltwater and sand. If you have your own story about the Gulf you'd like to share email me at:

van@boutwellstudios.com

 

Dear You,

Thank you for the poetry that spills forth as if from your eyes. I will be gracious to steal borrow, with without your permission, and make my own the replies you post on this my podcast page.  It can be sometimes troublesome to constantly police and to clear your drunken eloquent words about illegal wardrobes. So, I feel the confidence of the suns and of the stars to take and to make them my own. To Own. Town.

Until the time that I may make paments of my own town to MissMrs. Yasser Arrafatttt I will be gone.

-Sam Hill-ell

-Sam Hell

Clap your hands together, scream through your fingers and you too can make commercials. This spot ran years ago on local radio stations. I'm quite certain it chased away more business than brought. Now, I've realized...this is the greatest commercial I've ever heard.

grumble, grumble, static, explosions,

Van

Dear Sinful Smokers,

I know what it's like to be addicted. For 2.5 years I was held by the doughy chains of Ms. Freshly's Honeybun during college.  She won 'Pastry Product of the Year' for 3 consecutive years, how in the world can you say no to that kind of power. I can't say that I've ever gotten up in the middle of the night to smoke in bed while my signifcant other inhales lite white ribbons of smokey silk but I did leave History class once to get a cup full of melted cheese from Laredo's Mexican Restaurant. I actually thought I was going to start kicking the chair in front of me or start cussing under my breath if I didn't leave. Later, I found out that it wasn't tourettes but a general lack of self control which would later haunt me as I spray painted an anarchy sign on the wall of a previous job. Sometimes you just can't quit.

Impulse. It's what drives us to buy oversized balloon hats and air filled plastic pink panthers at parades. Impulse. It made people buy the Pontiac Aztek.  Impulse. It makes people get a tattoo of the Tazmanian Devil on their shoulder.  Impulse. It makes people people punch a cop.  Impulse. It makes people ride down a flight of stair in a wheelbarrow. No, actually being drunk on whiskey makes you do that. 

All that being said smokers, who can blame you for smoking when let's face it...it looks cool. And if you have a cheerful song to sing while you do it, you'll never be truly alone.

left handed smoke shifter,

Van

Clint...

What trouble have you gotten yourself into? We're getting phone calls at 3:38 in the morning, everyone's worried. Tell us, how much do you owe? Ballpark, how much. I've got some things in savings but if this is a prison thing I can't help you out. This is a bad time for extortion in Birmingham. Please just call the lady, work it out and then call us.

And please don't ruin another family holiday,

Van

This is the first in a series of podcast about the tragedy in the Gulf.  These are voices of those that love the Gulf and how the oil spill is effecting all of our lives. Please pass this on to everyone you can. You can subscribe to our podcast through iTunes by searching for Boutwell Studios. And if you have something to say, if you want to be heard, call us. The number is at the end of this podcast.

Thanks,

Van

One dark and stormy Friday night. The phone rang. Pot head calls a radio station. Says that he's high and wants to do someting creative. DJ tells him to write a poem and call back. Guys hangs up, gets paper and pen, thinks real hard. Stares into the wall for what seemed like days. Two minutes later he scratching out letters on the paper tearing under the pen with no ink. When it's complete he calls back. DJ sees the light blinking let him know a call is on line 1. He hits record and answers the phone. Later that night he and a friend known only as Mike McKenzie occupied one of the production rooms and created the following.

-,

Van

We hope you'll join us for the 31st year of Do Dah Day, one of Birmingham's best-loved events! This year's festival is set for Saturday, May 15th, 2010 in Caldwell and Rhodes parks, but don't miss out on the kickoff of the festivities at Do Dah Eve on Friday night!

Our 31st year is shaping up to be one of the best yet, so get ready for a rockin' festival featuring great music, refreshments, and fun with friends to benefit Birmingham's local animal charities!

Here’s to 31 years of Do Dah-ing!

http://dodahday.org/

Look buddy, I ain't gonna waste a lot of time with chit-chat, ballyhoo or hullabaloo. Today's sound is almost 10 minutes of thunderstorms recorded yesterday on my front porch. Make sure the chair you're sitting in ain't made of metal. You won't see the lightning but the thunder will probably chip one of your teeth or break the nice supperware.

See you in hail,

Van

Spam alert!   The only thing better than winning $10 million in the Nigerian lottery and getting sweet deals on anatomical enhancements each day on your computer is getting to hear the inside skinny on how that came to be. The newest Boutwell Studios podcast goes all Ira Glass on the subject of spam, with Van Gunter bringing you true tales of unsolicited e-mail, accompanied by music from Arclight and his very own self, plus cameo appearances by all the usual suspects. Oh, and by the way, that’s the AWARD-WINNING Boutwell Studios podcast (in case you had confused it with any others less honored) which you can subscribe to through the iTunes  Store.…

Raising kids has got to be pretty tricky. I don't have kids. Friends of mine have kids and some of them are great parents and some have ugly children and are bad parents. My folks raised two damn good kids. I had posters of Motley Crue on my wall and played my records backward to see if I could hear demons like the PRMC promised. Most importantly, I watched the greatest horror movies ever filmed at a young age.  Here is what I learned: 1) Killers with masks and knives do not exist deep in the woods of Alabama.  2) The killers that do live in the woods of Alabama can only be defeated by drinking beer and believing in your heart they will disintergrate if your back is to them. Mom & Dad had no idea I would struggle with those truths well into my 30's and at 33 it would take all the courage I had to stand in the woods at midnight with no guns or knives.

That being said, Nick Punch let me borrow his digital recorder for the weekend while I went to the woods to spend time with the family and defeat evil. As I stated in the "Lost Sounds" podcast I'm addicted to sound. I wanted to catputre the many whispers and conversations of nighttime animals in the pitch black woods, woods that can only be found 30 plus miles away from city lights. Saturday night at 11:45 I decided that in order to obtain those sound properly I must come face to face with my fears.  So, I shotgunned two beers, put on my headphones and walked far away from the light of the cabin we occupied. I headed for a deer blind far from safety and closer to wandering boars and long dead masked murders waiting to crack my skull with a log. For 15 minutes I walked into darkness. When I got there frogs, crickets and others sang their spring Southern song while I held my breath, closed my eyes and smiled. Surround sound courtesy of Spring in the South.

Say thanks to God kids,

Van

This is the promo for the first episode of the Boutwell Studios TV show.  A gripping drama. Set your Tivo and tear off the knob. Critics agree, look out Gandolfini...

-V.

Years ago I was working at New York Bagel on 20th with my best friend Geroge. We dreamed about what our life could be, decided what we dreamed wouldn't happen, reconfigured and started a band. Eschalon Bomb had its roots marinated in tequilla, Mobile made Old Fashions, anger at perverted cops-priests-teachers and song titles we'd come up with at various heights of substance saturation. 

Take Jello Biafra, minus the winey government rants, spliced with elements of The Dead Milkmen and the Crue (not Cure), flunk it in middle school a couple of times,send it to college, graduate it and let it follow the life path laid out by Tony Robbins.  That would be how you ended up at the Nick five dollars poorer watching a trio of tequilla shooting bakers and blood delivery boys singing songs such as, "Preacher Beat Down (Stay Down Reverand), "You're Not Going To Like What I Did To Your Friend Last Night", "Rock N Roll Destruction" and today's download "Morrisey".

I think you should call in to work dead and spend the day drinking with your friends but what the hell do I know? I'm just some punk kid working at a bread store.

Next in line please,

Van

 

When that time at of the month rolls around we know one thing...finish your worksheets for billing. Below is a recent encounter I had with Anne via email.

From: Anne

Please complete the following worksheet ASAP for billing.

                        ..........

From: Van

Complete.

Is my brain on fire or are you attempting to read my mind?

Was that acid or beer I drank last night?

Why are there so many owls flying around the building?

                       ..........

From: Anne

Complete.

>Thanks

Is my brain on fire or are you attempting to read my mind?

>yes & yes

Was that acid or beer I drank last night?

>acid, duh.

Why are there so many owls flying around the building?

>that's none of your concern and i'll thank you to mind your own business.

 

.......,

Van

People to ask about this...

Anne, Daisy, Nick and whatever other drunkies were on hand. However, I will say that once you hear it you'll not only sing it to yourself repeatedly but you'll deface every other song you know.  Keep in mind that this group has already conquered the classic rock, r&b and yacht rock genres.  Genres still available: black metal, death metal, anything ending in -core and Klezmer.

yours truly,

-Scottie Charmin

You know why we tend to hug our DVR at home?  It allows us the god-like ability to speed through time and commercials so we can get back to Glee and Ugly Betty with only a minimum loss of affiliate sanctioned  emotional baggage. However, a viewer can miss a lot of quality pandering, that for 3 easy installments, can change your life. It is possible that irritating repetition can kill an advertising campaign. And I have the solution. An ad so wonderfully confusing and disturbing, in a weird German art movie sort of way, that people can't help but purchase the product. Compelled by a seed so...compelling that they are...compelled to buy...stuff.  Watch the movie Videodrome and you'll understand everything.

Only You can make a difference...with brand new designer clothes,

Van

Now THIS ya gotta HEAR!

New voices and more choices are splashing around in the talent pool at Boutwell Studios right now. Follow this link to listen to the voiceover artist who'll make your next production at Boutwell Studios perfect. Casting questions? Email us for instant answers.

lane@boutwellstudios.com
greg@boutwellstudios.com

 PS: Of course you want to keep up with what the incorrigible 
audiophiles at Boutwell are up to. Get the weekly podcast on this page or subscribe through iTunes.  Even more time on your hands? Follow us on
Facebook.

Last year bout this time Nick Punch and I wrote a Halloween song for our 3rd grade class project.  Our teacher said it was the scariest thing she'd ever heard.  Then the police took her away and she lives in a house for crazy people now. Then I heard that the people that live in Gitmo got to listen to it as many times as they wanted. Sometimes they listened to it for 5 day straight! 

This song is an homage to my favorite Halloween song that I learned in 1st grade.

"It's Halloween...IT'S...Halloween. It's scary but it's fun"

The Camp Blood Sing-along isn't fun, it's scary as hell. Especially if you live in a house where blood runs down the wall during dinner and witches secretly meet in your basement.  If you don't find it scary then you need to get drunk on red wine, sit in a graveyard and listen to it on headphones.

When you hear the whispers the voice on the left is Anne reading a history about the city backwards. On the right is me reading an article about Pink Floyd.

Drink Bloody Mary 3 times...I mean say Bloody Mary 3 times,

Van

Today's sound clip is disturbing not in a throat slasher way but in the "She give me love love love love crazy love" way. Actually, scratch the Van Morrison reference it's better described in the love song "This Love" by the kid friendly group Pantera, "I'd kill myself for you...I'd kill you for myself".

This bag of nuts called me a few years ago when I was hosting a Friday night request show.  It started off relatively normal, y'know a drunk lady calling to tell a stranger about her day. And then the following is what happened.

Cover your body in bubble wrap and feathers then put on your seatbelt,

Van

Remember Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs?...This is a recording of his younger brother.  I cannot divulge the entire story about this on this blog but if you contact me I will give all details and possibly a copy of the full interview. Remember, don't help anyone load a couch into their van, no matter how many broken limbs they have.  This includes relatives.

Jonathan Switcher is a young artist,

Van

Not since the PMRC tried to stop grown men in make up,  dressed in neon tights and slinging guitars has the world been so creeped out by one piece of audio.  Tipper Gore burst into tears, burned down her house and asked Jello Biafra for his hand in marriage.  No word yet if that will happen but until that freak show, please to enjoy this most haunted of sounds.

It's from the 1950's and came off an old reel.  Just for Hallow's sake I'll say it was found in a haunted house under a picture of a dead Civil War general whose eyes follow you no matter what piece of furniture you sit on. And it was found during a thunderstorm...worst one in 60 years...it marked the day of his disappearance.

Truly a spooky clip, it's just one more freak out as we make a way towards Halloween.

lock your car doors...Who knows who could have been paroled today...

Van

Since Christmas decorations are already on the Cracker Barrel shelves we figured why not jump the Vorhees machete and give you a glimpse into the macabre one day early. This week's sound provided by Nick Punch. If you have any questions about why you're crying a lot and afraid to take the garbage out when the sun is down please direct them his way.

see you at the buffet,

Spooky Pirate

Continuing on with the many faces of phone.  Today's sound clip is taken from my radio days.  As I've said before, you can never go wrong recording  at all times. Just ask the Feral Government.  Only the One who creates crazy people know where Willy was from.  His insights into life prove just as true today as they did when he was bottling illegal cleaning agents from his home.

Ladies and Germs I present to you...Willy and the Wildlife!

Now go wash yer hands, I heard Langford's got the madness,

Van

Good Morning Fruitcake,

Leaving Lepidoptera  and  opening our  textbooks to chapter 3.  Last year sometime,  local band done good Wild Sweet Orange came in to record acoustic versions for a couple of their songs. If you recall from previous readings, recording at all times can prove hilarious as in the example.

The set up: The guys were about to do the first take on their song "Ten Dead Dogs".  Everyone seemed ready, Chi-chi is holding steady, Preston started the count off, Taylor seemed ready but, as you'll hear, he had his own thing going on. No matter how much time goes by this guitar makes me laugh.

Don't spit at the table,

Van

Have you ever called a complete stranger, got their voice mail and demanded they call you back?

This weeks clip is what happens when crazy people are allowed phone privileges. Sometimes they yell at the automated voice that gives time and weather, sometimes it's an unpopular high school pizza delivery boy on the receiving end.  Today it was Boutwell Studios.  We have no idea how we wronged this person but if they had left their phone number I would do it more often.

*69,

Van

This week's sound contributor was born in Alabama and now resides in France. A second language is not easy to master, for most people their native tongue is a big enough challenge.  I took 4 years of Spanish and can confidently speak 4 lines of Spanish. The subjects of the sentences range from drinking on the beach to having friends that are turtles. So when hear someone fluently speaks a second language, it tells you they paid more attention in school than you did albeit, you probably draw better army tanks and battle scenes than they do.

This is Lexie. She lives in France. She is about to record a Jazz record for a major label. She is une menace triple. Her demo is also posted at www.boutwellstudios.com.  If any of you speak French and you know what she is saying please don't tell me. It would break my heart to know that this is an ad for athletes foot.

mes amis sont des tortues,

Van

Mornin' Gorgeous Hey Hey...

With every single podcast, commercial, song, skit, etc. we produce the end product is a polished, great sounding spot.  What you don't get to hear are the outtakes that we end up with.  While in radio I rolled tape (total lie I never rolled tape, it was all done with digital editing software) on everyone that called, came in for an interview or waited patiently to go live while on a remote. It is a practice I still practice. 

This outtake will be the start of weekly clips spanning the archives from Boutwell & beyond.  Taken from the Dreams podcast it represents the magic of recording at all times. This is Anne right before we started recording her part for the opening monologue.  It makes me laugh every time I listen to it and surely will be added as a hot key on your Mac or PC, whichever  of the previous two defines you as a person.

Don't call me angel of the morning baby,

Van

Turn on, tune in, drop out...The latest Boutwell Studios podcast is ready for yer face! And yer ears. 

The basis of this one episode is other peoples dreams.  More times than not it's terribly boring to be on the receiving of a friend, loved one, co-worker's  dream.  Yeah,  it really is.  So for this podcast we had 3 of our friends recount a memorable dream that stuck with them.  Once that part was done we music types put sound effects and scored each one to keep it psychedelic and hopefully add a new level of abstraction so the listener could decided whether or not they wanted to be friends with those involved in said project.

The culprits:

Mike McKenzie: My friend from the radio days who was my creative partner in audio hooliganism.  I knew he'd be a great choice due to living in Southside under the front side of Vulcan. Once you hear Mike's voice it feels like Saturday Story Time and the Fun Home. And by Fun Home I mean where they put people in tight clothing that drool a lot.

Hunter Barrow: This fruit, on occasion, has Michael Bay direct his night time visions. An all around creative type. From musician and graphic artist to guy I like drinking beer with you'll dig the vacuum on his dream. [Note: I found a picture Hunter drew in High School of a mushroom cloud destroying our higher learning institution with people running out on fire. We all had a good laugh. Now days he'd be expelled and in prison.]

Daisy Winfrey: Imagine if you went trick or treating, never looked in the bag until you got home. Upon opening the sack of booty you screamed uncontrollably and wept until you passed out. Daisy was the first artist we featured at the studio and is a regular staple at our digs (note the blog "Why it's Daisy Winfrey").  

The Music. Thanks especially to Daniel Long. He and Lane created two drum pieces for Hunter's dream that start with tension and build to war. It was amazing to watch. Lane rocks rock on a regular basis behind the kit and on this podcast behind multiple drums. Daniel and I have played music together for about 10 years. He's involved in multiple music projects as well as 'Get Rhythm! with John Scalici'.  I always make fun of him because he's more knowledgeable about many areas of music and calling him names make me feel better about myself.

Nick Punch did all the music and arranging for Daisy's dream, it makes you make your extremities tingle, can't remember where your keys are, then left feeling like you just shotgunned a bottle of wine. And yes, that is a good thing. I did the music on Mike and Hunter's dream, sans the drums as well as the organ on the intro/outro. Oh, and the accordion at the end of Mikes, it ain't me, it's a dead man. At the begining you'll hear the lulling voice of Anne Puckett floating from your right speaker into your ear like a perfect nightcap of bourbon and morphine.

Now go forth and listen to how psycho the people around you are. The good news is that you know how three of them think. Now, ponder the people that you work with, your doctor, electrician, waiter...That's a  whole lotta crazy folk operating heavy machinery.

If you're still drinking milk from a slow, dull, boring cow you might as well wear Hyper Color t-shirts and Jams on your way to flagpole for an 8th grade ass kicking.  It's just not done anymore, cows are yesterday, over. OVER! If we're not progressing we're drinking cow milk. And cow milk is for losers...Thanks to Buttermilk Farms for preserving tradition while embracing the future. Pour me another cup, cold, frothy new animal juice.

At my last job I was a radio DJ. Not the Johnny Fever DJ I always romanticized from WKRP or the one that my co-workers were. I was the one that had a corporate out-of-town suit with the title of "creative consultant" constantly coming to town devoid of creativity and squeezing the life and fun out of the job. Times change. Today Johnny Fever most certainly would have just been laid off by Clear Channel despite having been an employee for 30 years.

All that being said, it was a fun job.   Most of  my co-workers were great,  I talked to nutty listeners that called in all the time,  recorded  hours of  phone conversations, hung out with musicians every once in a while, it was a cool gig.  And with my desire to be a 1970's DJ I partied like one.  One party in particular we had at the station was (pick a phrase cool kids on MTV use).  And due to a person that loved to talk (so much so that I'm sure she was the reason the U.S. Government made the WWII slogan "Loose Lips Sink Ships") corporate HR was brought in to investigate.  Luckily, we gelled as a team and all had our story straight.  The thing was it really wasn't that big of a deal but in order to justify, what I see as a totally ridiculous position, they had this nice lady from ATL who I'd talked to before, concerning a different situation not about me or my friends,  came to  B'ham for almost 2 weeks to  find out what happened.

Long story short they wasted a bunch of time and money and put in our files that we had a party at work after hours. Our file said that we liked to party.  Hell, I'd have told them that without the investigation. They should have asked me where all the station vehicle had been, now that would  have taken two weeks to talk about.  Anyway, all that being said my job at Boutwell Studios is the best job I've ever had. Not only because  I work with only 7 folks that are all nuts and I love but we don't have to deal with the ridiculousness of HR. I'm sure that in some form it exist but not in the "Todays Video Seminar is about Bathroom Hygiene in the Workplace" way.

 Por exemplo, today Anne sent out  an email simply stating an easy way to let everyone know our new phone extension on our outgoing emails. The following is what transpired:

Try to get in the habit of giving people your extension.  Also, I 
couldn't help but notice, that I am the only person who has added my extension to my email signature.
Cool.

Anne
________________________________________________________________

Don't worry.  I've made name tags for everyone and it has their 
extension on it.  Van thought we should tattoo them on our foreheads but I argued that we try this first.  Then he ran out of my room crying with toilet paper hanging out of the back of his pants and tilted all the paintings in the hallway so they would no longer be level.

Nick
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Just because you're 8.5 feet tall and created cool music does not mean that you can freely pick on whoever you want.  Grow up Jolly Green.  We're all friends here.  By the way all the brake fluid ran out of your car when I cut the brake line on your car so your car would stop stopping. 

My mistake but I meant to do it.

Van
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tell me about it.
he is in here crying now, and rambling incoherently about subjects including, but not limited too:  basset hounds, spray carpet cleaner, cloud formations and kurt cobain.  it's VERY bizarre.

Anne
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Listen Narc, I was at the library till like 2am studying for my martial arts final so the next time you come swingin' at the fences I'm going to flip to page two of the menu and order you a  round house sneaker attack, with a side of deep fried Kung-POW finger lickin' red face and a cup of water...no lemon.

Van
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Did you do that when you left like a pound of the weirdest tasting weed all over the hood of my car last night.  What's up with that?  Geez... you're sending me mixed signals!

Nick-
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I hate to play the wisdom card but it's all summed up with the words or the trinity...Bell Biv DeVoe , "Never Trust a Big Butt and a Smile".

Van
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In summation...Eat my Feet corporate HR. And here's one more tidbit for you. I carry a switchblade everywhere I go.

Sharks go Cool,

Van

Boutwell Studios is proud to welcome its newest client Buttermilk Farms.
A leader and innovator in multi-level pasteurization we are confident that their business will rocket ship the public to a new level of refreshment while growing the desire for milk from every phylum, class and order.

We are soon  to  unveil a  3 tier marketing maelstrom targeting specific demos who could benefit from extra vitamins not yet known to the FDA. With their forward thinking and "manifest destiny" attitude we know this partnership is a perfect fit.

Tested in smaller markets Buttermilk Farms has proven itself over and over with bold new tastes and wide varieties of its product while keeping its commitment to community and family.

Expect great things from this merger and as they say at Buttermilk Farms, "Just Close Your Eyes...aaaannnnddd Trust the Taste".

Oh baby, I know you gonna dig this...Think about all the mix tapes, or CD's, you've made over the years. This was way before playlists, Hybrid autos or the internet. A time when you were deliberate about the music you put on the selected medium because the economy was good, allowances were low and Memorex tapes were .99. 

We're going back to WWII  for this one.  It's  touching, eerie and a whole host of other adjectives. I'll let you make up your mind but when it's  over think about what you would say to your family as a soldier.

Nick Punch did the music for this one and it fits perfectly. It helped mold the direction of this podcast.

We had a lot of fun working on this and more are in the steamer.

I have to go to the grocery store after work so I'll call you when I get home,

Van

On Thursday, October 9, 2008, Boutwell Studios held its first ever Art Opening for our friend Daisy...Daisy Winfry. "Brilliant, Yet Disturbing" was the name of the show, lots 'n' lots of folks came, we drank beer and wine, told tales of yesteryear, sold 12 of her pieces, 4 before the show even opened, one thing led to another and by the end of the night everyone was dancing.  True story. All except the dancing, I think that happened at a New York Bowery bar five years ago. Here's the flyer from the show.

The multi-talented, multi-dimensional Daisy works as a teacher and artist at Studio by the Tracks where she and a group of furgent artist encourage and help at-risk youth and adults with autsim create. Create...Art.     

Side note: One night at a party I almost fell 10 feet to a back break when Daisy rapped to me, "I'm the verbal Herman Munster".

Meet Daisy. Put it on your To Do list, don't give it up for Lent. Better yet buy her art! Not only because the Boutwell Crüe says so, do it because it's hypnotic. Point your voyuristic browser here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/daisywinfrey/

Come by Boutwell on your lunch break and check out the pieces from Studio by the Tracks we have on display. They're for sale and make greats gifs, much better than a crappy old Maserati.

You're beautiful. I'll call you soon. Go now.

Van

Boutwell Studios. Known to our loved ones as, "the studio". When speaking as a drunken angry Irishmen it becomes, "Da Bootwell". As a smug French citizen, "Ze Bou-well".  To a raft full of people all speaking different languages with ice cold waves crashing down into their leaky boat, "Das Bootwell". I'm done.

Lots and lots of people come into our halls. From musicians to actors, writers, producers and directors to people dressed as cowboys and robots.  Over the past month my hair has been blown back by the folks that have walked in the door.

 The first week of January, less than a month before the  historical Presidential inauguration, I met Solomon Seay Jr., one of the influential voices of the Civil Rights era. Greg Bass, one of the owners/voices of Boutwell Studios, interviewed him for a segment on Tapestry, the arts and culture show he co-produces on WBHM. Follow this here link to hear the interview as it was broadcast: www.wbhm.org/Tapestry/Jan08-09.html

A few weeks later Greg says to me, "Van...Do ya hear me? Let us go now to the studio and interview Mavis Staples. Let us make haste".  It's weird he talks like that but he does and none of this has been embellished.  So, we did just that. We made haste and if a few minutes we called Mavis Staples on her home phone.  Another amazing voice to sing for freedom, change and peace. She sang to us over the phone at the end of the interview. I got weepy...and I can admit that so I'm not going to therapy this week. Hear that interview which was also on Tapestry by going here and doing it now: www.wbhm.org/Tapestry/

Soak up all that goodness, brag to your friends that you know more than them and in two shakes of a lambs tail we'll woo with with more stories of people cooler than lame-o superheros.

la playa,

Van

A Valentine's Day greeting from your friends at Boutwell Studios.

"Automatic Love"

Lyrics: Courtney Haden (wrote the words blindfolded with a quill)
Music: Van Gunter & Nick Punch (PBR, Stella Artois)
Vocals: Greg Bass (that sultry 40's announcer) & Van Gunter (40's singer and robot from Superman III)

If you've ever seen "Behind the Music: Motley Crue" that will give you a indication on how far partying, music, 1 motor cycle and a guy in make-up will take you in life. We owe many, many words of thanks and cases of beer to the following people for the creation of the video for "Automatic Love".

Paul Williams a.k.a Shark: Shark shot the band sequences including that killer psychedelic reflective shot with all the lights. And even though upon arriving he learned that we had no storyboard, he stuck around. That why he's called Shark. That, and the tattoo he got on his back in prison.

David Smith: David is a mad scientist friend of mine that I've know since kidhood. It's like knowing a guy that was born in a 1950's Sci-fi comic book that loves projects of any kind. David shot all of the Robot scenes as well as the Oscilloscope at Leo Ticheli Productions where he works.  You should see that guys whole catalog, it'll melt yer face off.

Jason Hamric: Jason...Jason's heart is human, his blood is boiling, his brain IBM. This man pulled it altogether on a time line that would send that sissy Jack Bauer back to a desk job. Jason added the all the visual fx like making the band scene black and white, layering images and giving it an overall creepy, robotic feel. And on top of that put it together in the a.m. hours when most of us lazies are asleep.  Go to his website and see how his brain works jamric.com

Thank you to everyone involved! More projects are baking in the oven and will be with you right directly.

The Boutwell Studios Holiday podcast.